Don't Let Go of My Hand
by hoshiko2kokoro
Summary: How can Arthur find love again after the loss of his wife when his son won't let him near anyone?


Arthur emerged from the kitchen with two wine glasses. He smiled at his date, sitting perfectly on his couch as she brushed her long hair from her shoulders. Her eyes were warm and deep. Arthur sat beside her, offering her the other glass. They clinked them together, and took one sip before setting it aside to indulge in each other.

Not even a minute later the loud pop of firecrackers went off under their feet. The woman screamed, shoving Arthur away as she scrambled to get up from the couch. Arthur yelped in surprise, but remained seated. He watched as his date left quickly, shouting rude obscenities at him. He sighed as his body deflated.

Then he turned sharply, shooting a horrific glare at the corner of his living room. The head of a young Asian boy disappeared quickly. Arthur jumped up and chased him down the hallway.

"Long! Get back here!" he shouted. He managed to grab the boy by his arm, pulling him back so he couldn't hide in his bedroom. "Long! What were you doing! How could you even think of scaring Mary away like that?"

Long didn't look at him. His head had dipped down so his short black hair obscured his eyes. He grimaced as Arthur shook him.

"Answer me, young man! Why did you ruin my date? Did you not like Mary? I thought you said you did."

When Long still refused to answer, Arthur released him. The young boy rushed to his bedroom, slamming and locking the door behind him. Arthur sighed and fell against the wall, sliding down until he hit the floor. He put his face in his hands and sighed loudly.

"Long… I don't know how much longer I can keep this up… I can't have you constantly scaring off my dates… I know you miss mom." Arthur choked on his words for a moment, his heart quivering at remembering his late wife. "But… but she's not here. And I can't… I can't do this alone. You deserve a mother."

"Mama was my mother!" Long shouted. His voice sounded as strained as Arthur's.

Arthur ran a hand through his hair. He searched his pockets for a cigarette. "I know… But… Long, you're so young… You should have someone you can look up to… Someone that can be there for you when I'm not."

When his son didn't reply, Arthur began to get up from the floor. Long's bedroom door opened just then, and the young boy shuffled out. He still didn't look at Arthur as he stopped by his side.

"I don't want anyone else… I'm fine with you…"

Arthur sighed again, his entire body growing heavy with the sudden weight on him. He pulled his son to him, wrapping his arms tight around his small frame. He didn't have to say anything more. What more could he say? Long was only six. It was difficult for him to understand that Arthur needed a love life. He needed a partner, romance, a soul mate.

Of course if Arthur said any of this he knew Long wouldn't understand and he'd put up a fight saying that his mother was the only one for his father. This much was true, but she was gone. And Arthur couldn't live out his life alone.

He sunk own to Long's level and rested his head on his head. "Long… If I promise you ask your permission to date someone, will you stop scaring them?"

Long sniffled, but nodded slowly. "Stop going for blondes… I don't like them…"

Arthur chuckled. He pulled Long back slightly, brushing a stray strand of hair behind his ear. "Why do you say that? I'm blonde."

Long finally looked up. For such a young boy he already looked so old. His dark eyes held far too much pain and not enough childish playfulness in them. Arthur grimaced at them and averted his gaze.

"I just don't," Long replied.

"Okay," Arthur said. He kissed Long's forehead. "Okay…"

But that was six years ago Arthur had made that promise. He felt he could no longer hold it back anymore. Since that night, he hadn't gone on any dates. He flirted with women here and there, shared a cup of tea while Long was at his piano recitals, but in the end they went nowhere. Something was holding him back.

It wasn't Long, although that probably did play an important part. But it was mainly time. Shortly after that night Arthur decided that it was high time Long join some clubs, or get involved in extracurricular activities. His mother would've wanted it.

So Arthur was present for every performance, every theatrical debut, every football game. He volunteered for any day that called for parental involvement, baking cookies (although he was promptly asked to never do so again), creating signs for fundraisers, and helping with costume making for plays Long was a part of.

But Long was almost a teenager now. He would not need Arthur to be involved in so much of his life, and he'd probably start preferring that he didn't. That was when Arthur realized he didn't know exactly what to do anymore. He supposed he could go to bars, but picking up girls there was always a bad idea. He could go to the library or to a museum, but he'd get too wrapped up in reading or looking at the art to really look for a girl to impress.

Most frightening of all, though, was Long's impassive attitude towards dating in general, whether it be with his father or with him. He had absolutely no interest in forming social relationships with friends or with members of the opposite sex. Arthur heard the sad story of when a girl confessed to him at his locker one day and he ran away.

Something had to be done, for the both of them.

Arthur didn't see it coming. He was standing in line at the grocery store, buying popcorn for the evening. He supposed he could have a nice movie night with his son and then have a father-son talk with him. Arthur found he was short on change. Embarrassed, he fumbled with his wallet to pull together another dollar.

"Need help?" the customer behind him asked. Arthur glanced at the man beside him, smiling at him in gratitude. "Here you go."

"Oh, thank you so much," Arthur said. The cashier took the change with an unimpressed look before pulling out the receipt. "If I manage a dollar, I could help pay for a bit of your groceries."

Arthur finally had a moment to look at the stranger. He was a little taller than him, of a solid build, and had that American charm to him with the blue eyes and soft blonde hair. Arthur paused in his ministrations to stare at him. He shook his head and moved aside, taking his popcorn.

"Naw," the man laughed. "It's just a buck. Don't worry about it."

Arthur nodded, thanked him again, and started to leave. But it seemed that the stranger had just as little of groceries as Arthur did. He caught up to him easily, talking to him as they left the store. It was just simple things like why the popcorn, a joke to remind him to bring a credit card next time, and which car was his.

But as they ended, Arthur ended up with the man's name. And eventually, his phone number.

Arthur drove home with sweat on his brow. He did not want to tell Long. The boy would revert back to his childish antics of tossing firecrackers at his dates. Not only that, but who knew what else? As far as Long knew, Arthur was straight. And, for most of the time, Arthur was.

Shortly before he married his late wife, Arthur came out to her, telling her he was bisexual, but that he loved her. His wife only smiled and said she loved him back. He thought that was it. And he had never looked at a man again, thinking that he would only find solace in a woman's embrace.

And yet…

Long was a smart boy. He noticed the differences in his father from the start. The way he came home with popcorn one night and had too wide a smile. How the next day he came home late for dinner with a poor excuse that he had met up with a friend from work for some drinks. And how he eventually sneaked off to his bedroom with his cell phone in hand, not emerging for some time later.

He was dating again.

Long waited until one dinner to confront his father about it. He wasn't sure what he would say, but he had to try something. Had his father already forgotten his promise? What if this woman was someone horrible? He had heard so many horror stories of stepmothers. Ones that hit, ones that were oblivious, ones that yelled. He feared his home becoming a place he could no longer come home to.

But that same night, his father approached him. It was shortly before dinner. He was wearing a nice shirt and his hair had been done up.

"Um… Long…," Arthur started. He sat on the boy's bed, across from Long's desk where his son sat, watching him. "There's someone coming over tonight."

"A date?" Long asked quickly.

Arthur winced. It was foolish of him to try and hide something so important from his son, and now he knew he had hurt Long. Still, he pressed on, hoping to heal that wound even the slightest bit, even though he knew his next bit of news would probably shatter his image of his father.

It was a horrifying thought. Children all around the world were cast aside by their parents for being homosexual, but how many children threw away their parents? Became disgusted of their sexuality? Rejected them as the beings that nursed and raised them? A child would be shattered, but could find help in other forms. But could a parent? Could Arthur?

If his only tie to his wife rejected him, could he ever recover?

Rather than continue, Arthur's throat constricted and he found he had lost his voice. "Um… I… Well…"

"Is she nice?" Long asked slowly. "She better not be blonde. I told you I don't like them."

Arthur tried to breathe. He wound his hands together, but they started to clench so tight they shook. He pulled them apart and rubbed them together. That only made him more nervous. Why couldn't he just tell him? Long was a smart boy. There was no way he'd hate his bisexual father, was there?

Finally, a painful moment later, Arthur was able to look his son in the eye.

"Long," he started. "Do you know…about homosexuality?" His son nodded. "What of it?"

"Well… I know that it's when two people of the same sex have feelings for each other like a hetereosexual couple," Long replied.

"How do you feel about it?" Arthur asked, licking his lips slowly. He felt his entire body breaking out into perspiration.

Long shrugged. "I've never met a homosexual, so I don't know. It doesn't seem bad to me."

"So… if I were to tell you that my date was a man… how would you feel…?"

Long stared at his father. Really stared at him. This man had tried so hard to shelter him from all the pain from the past seven years of his mother's death-his wife's death. Many nights he'd hear Arthur crying in the bathroom or his bedroom. He'd catch his father staring out the window with watery eyes and an undeniably shattered expression. And all of those times he had wanted to comfort him, but how?

Since his mother's death he hadn't been very good with forming words that correctly showcased his true feelings, just like his father. He might say something that could upset him.

But right here, right now, he had the chance to make his father happy. This man who had loved and nurtured Long now depended on him in a way a parent never should.

He moved to stand before Arthur, looking down at him with unreadable eyes. He put his father's head against his stomach and let his hands work through his hair. "I love you, father. I always have and I always will. Just… don't forget me. I can…make you happy too…"

Arthur shuddered after a moment before he began to cry. He pulled his head back and looked up at Long. He was crying too. Arthur grabbed Long into a tight embrace, holding him as they both cried, mourned the loss of the past few years. They had lost so much, but overlooked how much they still had.

"I will never _ever_ forget you," Arthur whispered into Long's hair. "Never. You are the reason I can get up in the morning and go to work. If I had lost you _and_ your mother I…"

Long gripped at Arthur, releasing years worth of pent up tears. The two men continued to cry for a time before they eventually quieted down. Arthur helped Long to the bathroom where they washed their faces and straightened up before Alfred arrived. He quickly explained how Alfred was, warning him that he was quite loud and much different than his past dates.

"Wait," Long said as the doorbell rang. Arthur stopped and turned. "…Is he blonde?"

* * *

><p><em>Hoshiko2<em>'s cents: My friend, sanguinehero, and I came up with this idea one evening. I personally don't have a step father or mother to deal with, but she does, so she was able to put in some information towards the feelings in this story. I hope I did a good enough job with Hong Kong. I've never written him before.

Hope you enjoyed this story! It had a hopeful ending, didn't it? Just a little FYI: the date went great and Alfred was welcomed by Long…after his 20th time over.


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